EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER WANTED TO KNOW! ALL IS REVEALED! TRUE CONFESSIONS! SCANDAL!
Well, sort of. Here’s a peek into the dude’s morning ritual:
Gearing up for for a visit to Mr. Timothy Horton’s café just off the west Blairmore access road. Junior Boys cued up on the magical music playback device, Baggu on my back, ready to gather provisions from the BC produce truck.
Google Maps: 45 minutes each direction.
The reward at the end of the journey–an extra-large cup of Mr. Horton’s finest brew, with 1 milk and 1 Splenda:
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And now, for THE REAL EXPOSÉ!
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D U D E F O O D
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Every successful dude and dudeen needs to fuel up for long days of wranglin’, rovin’, and ramblin’. Here at the Jolly Ranch, we practice healthy livin’, ensuring that our diets contain elements from all of the requisite food groups:
A balanced diet naturally consists of large quantities of olives, tortilla chips (multigrain means they’re healthy), Ziggy’s stardust…I mean salsa in bulk, and cottage cheese (decadent, I know). But what is life without condiments? Every respectable cookhouse needs all condiments known to dudekind.
Note the three specialty vinegars–different occasions demand different acidic elements. Also hummus provides a respite from the everyday salsa. Fancy!
The dudeen has been dragged down into the depths of vegetarianism (sorry), but at the ranch we make an exception for dairy:
Extra Food restocked the brie today! We have been brie-less for a week! And goat cheese from Sobey’s! Oh, how I’ve missed the goaty goodness…
More evidence of our FILTHY VEGETARIAN LIFESTYLE:
Lest you think we are paragons of clean livin’, with our nacho-centric diet, I present to you THE REAL, SHAMEFUL TRUTH! Try not to judge:
It’s all about balance, dudes and dudeens.
Tags: booze, brie, Dr. Pepper, dude, dudeen, dudekind, expose, exposed, filthy, food, goat cheese, healthy, jolly ranch, nachos, ranch, salad, salsa, scandal, spinach, tortillas, vegetarian, vinegar
